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3 Ways To Be Mindful Of Our Feelings

gabrielle 7 May 2024

If we know what we are feeling we can stop being on an automated pilot with our reactions and take responsibility for our words and actions. Being aware of our feelings also helps us process them and move faster through their ups and downs…

If you’re struggling with a lot of emotions and challenges right now, know that you are definitely not alone. I know it can be hard to let big waves of feelings move all the way through to the place of peace, so…

The first thing to know about emotions is that they are always changing.

Sometimes it feels like we will be sad or upset forever, but the fact is that those feelings will pass and be replaced by other emotions.

When we resist what we are feeling, we mute not just our negative emotions but our positive ones too. Furthermore, in an attempt to control our feelings, we actually amplify them, which has a domino effect of making the urge to stuff our emotions even stronger.

Imagine trying shove a beach ball under the surface of the water. Even though you might expend enormous energy trying to keep it submerged, odds are that it will simply pop up anyway, an in unexpected places and at inappropriate times. This is how people end up yelling at a waiter when they’re actually very much trying not to feel how much they hate their job. This is why someone who hasn’t grieved the loss of a relationship fully and completely can end up in wracking sobs in the vegetable aisle over the price of avocados. (Yes, they can be very expensive, but they are also very delicious. I do understand.)

Quite simply, resisting our feelings causes more prolonged emotional pain.

“When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”

Jill Bolte Taylor, neuroscientist

This means that in just a minute and a half, an emotional state has a beginning, a middle, and, if you let it, an end. Note: This doesn’t mean you’ll never feel this emotion again. It just means that this particular episode has been felt, honoured, and released.

In theory at least…

Like an ocean wave, the feelings comes, but then it dissipates.

When we make those feelings bigger initially, they will most of the time become smaller in the end.

You feel more, but it’s shorter.

When feeling your feelings, the best thing you can do for yourself is trust that you can handle it, no matter what! I know you can. 

Why? Because I’ve been there. I’ve ridden those waves, and I lived to tell the tale. Actually… Not just me. Everyone does.